Cautious and watchful. Keeping a close eye on traffic all around, having checked and rechecked rear and side mirror alignments, the position of the wheel and seat, all just right after infinite adjustments. Odd how proper body position to set a side mirror is cheek to glass. Dancing with my reflection, marking that cold glass plane as a dog would, less happy but just as anticipatory. Like a shy child at a party, I am following far behind others in this slow lane—I would have made fun of myself before.
A normal family gathering cycle: weddings and births turn to graduations, weddings, and funerals. These sequences unhinge at any time—unexpected events careening and crashing headlong into one-way streets, oncoming trains, ambulances. Tears streaming and staining faces all blotchy red and snotty. Clutched tissues bedraggled and knotted, shattered fragments, retelling of old stories shared among happier times. Sadly spilling senses astutely aware and flaring, crackling nerve endings keening. “We have to keep in touch, visit more often”—in truth tragedy brings families together. Bittersweet treasure, reunions, at times like these.
This resolve will last about 24-months. About the time it takes for visceral memory of squealing tires and breaking glass to fade and for fearless living to retake its place at the controls. This resolve will last about 24-months. About the time it takes for promised letters and calls to be forgotten, trips taken to elsewhere—more fun—recreation; we need a vacation vacation, not another family visit.
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